People refuse to be adults, refuse to handle things, and when they speak to you they vomit all their problems over you. No – they say – you’re not expected to help, it’s not your problem – they just leave their problems on the table for you to have to choose to ignore. They throw their emotional wars and the mazes of their own minds on to you without any shame or self control: the wave after wave of nasty news and secret inner private thoughts exposed to you shamelessly like pornography. Shoved into your face, into your mouth while you are not hungry, through your eyes, into your skull so that it can stink up and drown out your own brain.
It lodges in your brain – their thoughts and their feelings – and it prevents you from living in the present, doing your work, doing what you’ll need to be to get where you want to be.
How much does it take to look on bright sides and say: I’m fine? The way you do, no matter what…?
So the road is tempting… very tempting… that path which snakes away from them. To that place that is not connected to the world. To that space where you cut off everyone and every thing because they keep abusing you as a puke bucket for their issues.
It takes two or three days to recover each time. You lose half your life – to their nonsense.
You’ve had it…
You’ve more than had it…
You’re starting to not care anymore.
You’re starting to drop the ball on your own stuff because their stuff is just so overwhelming.
Then you climb through the fence, move aside the branches, and you start to walk, deeper and deeper, away from it all, away from them all. May God grant that you get so lost in these woods that no living soul ever finds you again.